Where Are My Boobies?

side boobs

Not mine… Let me assure you that my own boobies are firmly resting right by my belly button… Unless your reading this while I’m sleeping, in which case they’re on my sides, since I tend to sleep on my back… So if I’m not talking about my boobs, then whose boobs do I speak of? [...]

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Playing Old School

l1678_fr

I’ll be the first to admit that my kids are little techies. Always wanting to use the computers, the mp3 players, our iPhones, whatever they can get their grubby little hands on… And Brooke, though she’s even three, is the same way…she loves to play the educational apps that I’ve downloaded on my kindle for [...]

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Break Ups and Vaginas

smelly vagina

So it’s obvious that I haven’t been around much… Honestly, I’ve been planning to break up with you… But believe me, it’s not you…it’s me… I’ve just been so tired and stressed and blah blah blah…. We’re going to move into our new house in a couple of months and we’ve been getting the flooring, [...]

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Why Kids Are Assholes-Part Five

Sleep

All I want is to sleep is peace…. All day long my day is filled with requests from the little people that live here…get me milk! I want a banana!  Now can I have a cookie? I’m still hungry, I want a cheesestick. Please play tea cups. Wipe my butt. Scratch my butt. Smell my [...]

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The Big Bug

As you all remember, my husband and kids have all been sick as fuck the last few weeks and I’m just starting to get my shit back together… And when Eric was sick that pretty much made me his little bitch to do his bidding, which is why I was at Taco Bell at 8:30 [...]

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No, I Am Not Dead

In two weeks I’ve showered five times. The hair on my legs was so long I could braid it. Small animals could have nested in Veronica…yes, she was that funky…last time Eric visited there he got lost… I’ve made almost nothing but nuggets, spaghetti, and eggs for dinner. Why? Because my house had been turned [...]

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