The Ass Ache

Almost every morning I wake up with my ass on fire* courtesy of Eric.

It’s because we fall asleep like this…

Every night we go to sleep face to feet so we can rub each other’s feet and tushies while we talk…

And inevitably Eric gets his hand up my undies to the top of my back…giving me the mother of all wedgies…

I constantly ask him to pick my underwear out of my ass so my sad face disappears and he complies, but his hand always creeps back up through there and to my back…

And so I fall asleep with my underwear up my ass and then wake up and have to practically get pliers to pull it out of there…

I know what you’re thinking…just go to sleep like everybody else, face to face the normal way…

Like we haven’t tried that? It just doesn’t work for us…

And besides, I like my ass rubbed as I fall asleep….

So I guess I’m doomed to a life of ass aches and nighttime wedgies…sigh…

At least until my kids are grown and I don’t have to worry about them coming into bed with a naked mommy and then having to shell out thousands in therapy money…

How do you and your hubby*** sleep?

*you fucking pervert…you thought it’s because I take it up the back end? Let me assure you that’s an exit only area, although if that’s the way you like it…then to each their own**

**you nasty….

***or wife, or domestic partner, or sugar daddy….whatever….


  1. There is nothing quite like a new post from Holly to start off the week!

    What about a longer t shirt and no panties?

    We still rarely spend the whole night in the same bed together so someone is pretty respectful because he knows that if, once I’m asleep, he wakes me up doing anything I don’t like he’ll be kicked to the couch that much faster! :-)
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..Friday Fragments: Busy BusyMy Profile

  2. Alison says:

    You guys are so weird.
    I like it. :)
    Alison recently posted..SoundsMy Profile

  3. Okay, seriously. That is weird.
    Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Knowing What’s to ComeMy Profile

  4. I am not quite sure how to comment, which I find happens often when I visit you.
    Y’all are SPECIAL.
    There. That works.
    cyndy newsome recently posted..Keepin’ It Weird ~SIMCMy Profile

  5. So why not go with no panties? Just wear a longer shirt. Hubby and I don’t do that, I am a cover hog so we each have our own blanket. lol After 22 years of sleeping in the same works for us.
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