Break Ups and Vaginas

So it’s obvious that I haven’t been around much…

Honestly, I’ve been planning to break up with you…

But believe me, it’s not you…it’s me…

I’ve just been so tired and stressed and blah blah blah….

We’re going to move into our new house in a couple of months and we’ve been getting the flooring, the paint, the furniture…all that good stuff picked out, because we are bringing almost nothing with us…why? Because my little monsters have pretty much destroyed all of our shit…so there’s all that stress…

There’s also been financial crap that I won’t bore you with….but suffice to say that all the stress has caused me to gain back all the weight I have previously lost which means that in a couple of weeks I will indeed be the fattest bridesmaid


So anyway, there I was the other night…getting ready to finally pen my break up letter to you all…and then it hit me….

The smell of my own vagina….

We had all been at the fair all day in the hot hot sun and man…did I reek….

And my smelly vagina was like an epiphany to me….

I have to write…I have to keep my blog up…

Or else who will I tell when my own vagina is so foul that even I’m offended?

So I will make the effort to keep up on my happy pills and remember that writing is my stress relief…

So please, hang with me…don’t give up on me…I’m doing my damndest to keep my head above water …

And hopefully to get Veronica in some water….


  1. Jenny says:

    I’ve been wondering where the hell you have been! Even if you don’t come around us often, PLEASE just don’t break up with us!!!!!! We will wait patiently :)
    Jenny recently posted..My approach to Down syndromeMy Profile

  2. Alison says:

    I’ve missed you!! (and you came back with the word ‘cunty’ on my post – gotta love you and I do)
    Thank goodness Veronica reminded you that you NEED to blog.
    Alison recently posted..How To Handle Rejection (Or How Not To Curl Up In A Fetal Position And Eat Copious Amounts Of Chocolate)My Profile

  3. Maggie Fluck says:

    hey, don’t you have a book coming out? you need this website! miss you girl!
    Maggie Fluck recently posted..A Girls Only TripMy Profile

  4. Anna says:

    I love your blog! It makes me laugh and I love how honest you are about everything! Don’t go away! Stay, you and your stinky vagina must keep blogging!

  5. Tiffany says:

    I’m glad you’re back…now go take a shower! ;)
    Tiffany recently posted..Do you ever?My Profile

  6. Jessica says:

    You crack me up! Sorry its been stressful lately!
    Sending happy thoughts your way & don’t give up on your writing!!

  7. OMG!! Don’t break up with me!! You make me laugh with every post!! Smelly va jay jay or not. You would be greatly missed!!
    Connie Gruning recently posted..Mibblio App for KidsMy Profile

  8. Jester Queen says:

    Oy. Moving is the worst. I can’t even imagine doing it with four kiddos. Breathe. And you’ll be a fucking GORGEOUS bridesmaid.
    Jester Queen recently posted..BallsMy Profile

  9. Charity says:

    Life can catch up with you sometimes but I’m glad you are not closing shop!
    Charity recently posted..What I took for grantedMy Profile

  10. You cant stop blogging. I FORBID it.
    cyndy newsome recently posted..Rainy SundayMy Profile

  11. Kim says:

    Thank God for smelly vaginas!!! We’re not ready to lose you!!!
    Kim recently posted..My Average Day at Work…My Profile

  12. Oh my dear! I almost had heart failure! I’m so glad you’ve come to terms with keeping us around! We’ll stick by you through this… smelly vaginas and all…
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..Wednesday Hodgepodge: My First TimeMy Profile

  13. Beth Anne says:

    I’m happy you decided to keep your blog. I can’t get enough of all the boogers and smelly vaginas :)

  14. Good luck with the move!!
    Chaunie@TinyBlueLines recently posted..Easter Cross GarlandMy Profile

  15. Lori A. says:

    Whew…that was close! Smell away.

  16. TUC says:

    I honestly never thought I would type the words, “Thank goodness for a smelly vadge.”
    TUC recently posted..It’s Not that Complicated, Is It?My Profile

  17. Glad you are alright. Maybe you just need a blogger break. It happens, I’ve taken them. You have a lot of your plate right now but we will always be here waiting for you to return, no doubt about that. Keep your head up and take things one day at a time. Life is stressful but we keep going on.
    Mary Kirkland recently posted..Ato Z Blogging Challenge: ScheduleMy Profile

  18. Ruby says:

    You can’t leave us hanging with a move coming on and being a bridesmaid and the kids and all that stuff!!! keep on keeping on whether its with Red or White, grab a glass or the bottle, put the music on and dance then blog………….

  19. Tara Gauthier says:

    I was ready to cry..actually I already did today over some complete bitch at work but so glad I will be able to come here for a good laugh still..I hate moving and so wish I could just get rid of everything and start over rather than pack up our shit when we buy a house.

  20. Shell says:

    You can’t go away!

    I hear you about not bringing things with you. We are hoping to move this summer and we were talking about how much we’ll just throw out b/c the kids have destroyed it.
    Shell recently posted..Things They Can’t Say: Missing Laughable MomentsMy Profile

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