The Big Bug

As you all remember, my husband and kids have all been sick as fuck the last few weeks and I’m just starting to get my shit back together…

And when Eric was sick that pretty much made me his little bitch to do his bidding, which is why I was at Taco Bell at 8:30 one night picking up XXL Nachos and Chalupas for my sickly husband…

When I rolled into the garage there it was…

The biggest palmetto/roach/Florida bug I’ve ever seen in my life…right on the top corner of the doorway into the house, so there was no way this bitch was getting out of the car…

I immediately called my coughing up a lung husband and demanded his assistance because this fine gal? Does not do bugs…

And apparently neither does Eric…

He didn’t want to kill the damn thing…Instead he wanted to shoo the big ass bug away.

When the fuck did he become such a humanitarian? It’s not like it was a bald eagle or a cute little bunny…it was a big nasty disease ridden roach…

But whatever…I played along…Eric was obviously delirious with fever and not thinking straight…

Besides, it was pretty damn amusing watching the dance of the roach with Eric in only his underwear, hot and feverish, leaping and signaling to me…

So I pulled a taco out the bag and sat back…

Every once in a while Eric would signal for me to drive backwards…a bit more, a bit more, just a bit more…

And finally! He freed the roach! I could roll back into the garage and go upstairs….

CRUNCH!!!!!!!

Yup, you read that right…when I drove back in I ran the fucker over…

The look on Eric’s face was priceless, if only I had it on video for you people you all would piss your pants laughing…

So let this be a lesson to you all…just kill the damn bugs…

But not the bunnies….

Comments

  1. Alison says:

    Hahahaha!! Poor Eric. At least he got his tacos right?

  2. Anne says:

    omg that would have been hilarious to see a video cause I’m laughing right now just at the story

  3. With those types of bugs I usually put a glass on top of them, slide a piece of paper under the glass, trapping the bug inside. Take it to the toilet and flush. That way I don’t have to see, hear or feel the crunch and buggie guts.
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  4. Heather says:

    Ha! It must have been the fever. Just kill the bug!!!
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  5. I don’t think I could live in Florida because of all the critters. I like a good hard freeze for six months of the year to kill all the icky stuff off. xo
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  6. Y’all do know how to grow cockroaches down there and then you call them Palmetto bugs like they are pretty, when they are really big and gross! When I was in FL with Cute Boy a few years ago, he was being all manly man showing with the new girl around his former stomping grounds on vacation and then there was a Palmetto bug… almost saw a grown man cry. Priceless!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..A Dating Double StandardMy Profile

  7. Seriously, a freaking cockroach?? They deserve to be dead. I”m a sucker for lizards and cute bugs (lady bugs, some moths) but cockroaches get squished. Period.

  8. Adrienne says:

    Oh I hate those Palmetto bugs! We have them here like crazy bad! They do not mix well with my son’s OCD. When we first moved here (remember my son had a hard time), the poor kid found a freakin’ giant cockroach in his room almost every day! I’d be like, “Really, God? Can you please put the roach in someone else’s room??” Ugh! I shudder!
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  9. Oh, the man cold. Why do I have to take care of everyone when everybody is sick?!
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  10. I can’t stand those bugs!!!
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..Two Weeks {Check In with Mami & Abby}My Profile

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