Please Find Jesus

That was the header of the email I received a few weeks ago.  At first I assumed it was spam even though it made it into my regular inbox,  and though I figured that as soon as I opened it my computer would blow up, I’m glad to say report that I’m in fact typing on the same computer! Crisis averted!

However, that’s where the good news ends.

Because apparently I’m a wretched, horrible person! Yes! Me! Can you believe it?

The email, from a Christian group that I will not name, felt it necessary to email me after finding my blog just to beg me to immediately go to church and find Jesus.

These people can already tell I’m not a believer because I talk about VAGINAS! GASP! I also tend to say fuck…

Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.


Oh, and I’ve called my kids out on being assholes a time or two…

Christian women don’t do any of those things…

According to these people.

But I ask why not? Why can’t a Christian woman have a sense of humor? Why can’t I be honest about my kid’s assholery? And why can’t I say fuck? For fuck’s sake!

Is it because I’m a church going gal who also teaches Sunday school and participates in two separate Bible studies? Is it because I’m also on the steering committee for our MOPS group for the third year in a row? Is it because I happen to love the Lord?

And you know what? He loves me too. He made me the way I am, and even better, only He, not the group that emailed me, knows what’s in my heart.

Guess what? I’m here and writing to make you all laugh. To share my life with you. To share my imperfections…

And I’m pretty sure that Jesus is down with that…


  1. Alison says:

    You’re who you are, just the way you’re meant to be.
    Go you, for being comfortable in your own skin.
    Alison recently posted..The (Almost) Unbearable Lightness Of Not Being NeededMy Profile

  2. M says:

    New favorite word…assholery…
    M recently posted..Uh Oh…Spaghettios!My Profile

  3. Anne says:

    I sometimes want to sensor myself when i blog. Then i think fuck it. Its my dam blog if someone doesnt want to read profanity they can click exit upon the first cuss word. The blog is my venting outlet.
    Anne recently posted..Dumbass GovernmentMy Profile

  4. Beth Anne says:

    I hope my booger email made up for this crappy one :)

  5. Shell says:

    Oh wow. You gotta love people who have no clue yet feel like it’s okay for them to tell you how to live your life. And let’s pretend for a minute that you weren’t a Christian. Would an email like that actually accomplish anything? No. It would probably have the opposite effect. But they don’t know you and know your faith.

    Gah. This irritates me so much.
    Shell recently posted..The Official LEGO® ChannelMy Profile

  6. Jackie Henry says:

    AMEN to that Holly. Me AND Jesus got your back…

  7. Chris Carter says:

    Oh I just cringe with such disgust when I see or hear about Christians that pull that crap… don’t you? Gives us and JESUS a really really bad name. SO unfortunate. Did you tell them to look in the mirror and find the log in their eyes? Just sayin’
    Chris Carter recently posted..“My Awesome World”My Profile

  8. Meriah says:

    Amen, Holly!
    I think you are one of the best examples if a Christian that I know. You are all heart and pure, kind action. You DO, you don’t TALK. I love that about you.
    Love, love, love.
    You are one sweet sister and I know The Lord loves you, too
    Meriah recently posted..MacQuinn: 3 MonthsMy Profile

  9. Jester Queen says:

    I’m agnostic. Although I am not a Christian, I am married to one. Therefore, I clearly have complete expertise on the matter, right? And here’s what I say.

    If Jesus didn’t drop the year 33 equivalent of an F-Bomb or two when he was flipping tables in the temple? Then I’m a fucking Buddhist. That is all.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Dead Rock StarsMy Profile

  10. Tiffany says:

    I’m sure that’s what Jesus would want…for people to judge other people for words they say and topics they write about when trying to be funny. Fuck them, Holly, you are awesome. And Jesus fucking loves you…and your vagina…and your asshole kids!!!! ;)
    Tiffany recently posted..My Happiness ProjectMy Profile

  11. stacy says:

    Good for you, Holly! That organization is out of its f-ing mind. a main lesson of the bible as I understand it (i am an atheist, use to be christian) is ‘let he who is without sin cast the first stone’.. as everyone sins I assume this organization should be looking within themselves to determine what they could do better by god instead of judging other people. Our curse words are not even real curse words anyway, i don’t think the bible is referring to words like shit and f*ck.. more about words taking god’s name in vain. my italian mother in law speaks italian only but curses in english (makes for some interesting conversations as someone who doesn’t understand italian) as italian curses all involve god. don’t second guess yourself , you are awesome!!

  12. I’m a christian and I call my kids assholes more than I’d like to admit to myself let alone anyone else and I cuss more than a sailor, and I drink. I’m a Christian not a saint. And I’m fine with that. Ignore people who want you to be their version of “good” they cannot be helped.

    Over from PYHO.
    Twingle Mommy recently posted..Explaining Death When Kids Are Too Little to UnderstandMy Profile

  13. Kim says:

    Shit… I’m probably about due for one of those emails too!
    Kim recently posted..What I Learned Last Night… *The Local Comedy Show Edition*My Profile

  14. Right on! Using “find Jesus” as a type of backhanded criticism is one of my pet peeves. Like when people say “I’ll pray for you” but what they really mean is “I think what you’re doing sucks and I want to say it in the most self righteous way possible.” Don’t sweat e-mails like that. Hang in there!
    Larks (@LarksNotesThis) recently posted..Existential malaise: I has it.My Profile

  15. Well said! “Do no judge or you to will be judged?” (Of course, I totally judge, even when I try not to:-))
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Sweet Baby BMy Profile

  16. Kristin says:

    Some people can’t take a joke. Or don’t know what funny is.
    Kristin recently posted..Tent Bed UpdateMy Profile

  17. Becky says:

    Maybe Jesus is missing and you Holly are the one that can find him because of your awesomeness! Go Holly, go into the world and find him! :) We are all counting on you!

    Is this what the meant? No? Then fuck’em!

  18. Maureen says:

    Amen!!! :)

  19. cyndy says:

    I didn’t even know Jesus was missing. *shrug*
    cyndy recently posted..Bracing Myself…My Profile

  20. Jessica says:

    I just love how people assume someone is not a Christian bc they cuss or talk about sex. And what parent never finds their kids annoying sometimes? I’m a Christian. I cuss. My kid pisses me off when she throws food everywhere. I call her an ass. I’m not perfect-I’m a CHRISTIAN. those people need to remember not to judge. I know I love the lord and he loves me. Keep writing!

  21. Randi says:

    I LOVE THIS! I’m so tired of these so called perfect Christians who think that they are all knowing creatures whose job it is to go around and correct the rest of us. Screw that shit! I’ve been called out a few times at church because I refuse to be pushed around. I’m going to stand my ground, and I’m going to do it on my terms. If I want to cuss, yell, raise my voice, talk about sex or punish my child I will. If you don’t like it — OH WELL! Thank you for not being intimidated by the douche bags out in the world, and for speaking your mind the way that deep down those people know they want to. :) Your blog makes me giggle, and it reminds me that I’m not the only parent who does those things. Besides they can always use their college funds for therapy. ;)

  22. I hate people sometimes!
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..38 WeeksMy Profile

  23. Be who you are and don’t let anyone ever tell you that’s wrong. Good for you.
    Mary Kirkland recently posted..RIP HadesMy Profile

  24. Allister says:

    My mother said I have a bad habit of being “unfiltered”. Meaning I say what I feel to say, and that also happens at church. I have an 8 year old and 4 month old and everyone at church use to feel weird around me when I speak about my kids because I’m BRUTALLY HONEST. I would get a question like “How are your kids?” And my reply is usually “Friggen annoying”. When my other son was born they would say “Congratulations!” and my reply would be, “Ain’t nuthin really. All I did was was have unprotected sex and my wife did the rest, so congratulate HER”. Now they just think I’m my wife’s insane husband.

  25. Charity says:

    You gotta love people who thinks it’s their place to jusge and tell eveyone else how to live. They need to get a life.
    Charity recently posted..What made me happy this week 1/25My Profile

  26. Kendra Krebs says:

    You have the right way of thinking! I get approached by people all the time trying to ‘convert’ me into their religion. I have piercings and tattoos. They look shocked when I tell them I have already been saved, Love Jesus, and am a Deacon in my church!
    Kendra Krebs recently posted..Family Member Rehab SupportMy Profile

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