Why Kids Are Assholes-Part 4

I have no privacy…

I can’t pee alone, shower alone, or dress alone…

In fact, I hardly ever sleep with my husband alone either…our children have mastered the art of cock blocking to ensure that no more children will join our family…

But I digress…

No privacy means that when I was waxing my legs I did so in the company of Hope who watched and asked questions the whole time…

Does that hurt mommy? How many times do you have to do it? Is that why you have no hair on your pee-pee Mommy? Are you going to do Daddy’s body so he’s not hairy either?

For 45 straight minutes I listened to her…

Fast forward three days….

Setting: The Wal Mart check out line….

Check Out Girl: (holding my box of Veet wax strips) Do these work? I’m tiring of bleaching my mustache, I don’t think it works good enough….

And Hope replied…

Yes. Yes, it was as embarrassing as it sounds…

The Wal Mart chick turned bright red, I turned bright red, neither one of us said anything else, I paid and left…

And it’s official, Hope is my least favorite, assholery child….



  1. bwhahaha, did you think of anything to tell walmart lady after?
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..Goodbye South CarolinaMy Profile

  2. Alison says:

    Oh Hope. Too. Funny.
    Alison recently posted..I Will Follow You (Or Not)My Profile

  3. Mom Off Meth says:

    I am DYING!! That is some funny shit. One time, the checkout girl at Blockbuster video was super heavy, and my daughter said, as I was paying for my movies, “Oh mommy, she has a HUGE tummy!”

    Thanks jerk.
    Mom Off Meth recently posted..SlackerMy Profile

  4. cyndy says:

    It could have been worse.
    I’m not quite sure how, but I’m trying to make you feel better.
    cyndy recently posted..Southern Comfort ZoneMy Profile

  5. Lmao og dang. Kids… Yeah I got nothin’…lol They are funny.
    Mary Kirkland recently posted..The Generation GapMy Profile

  6. Amber says:

    Haha. Awkward!
    Amber recently posted..So I Saw Breaking Dawn Part 2My Profile

  7. Cheryl Abdelnour says:


  8. Jester Queen says:

    Ahahaa! Oh no! At least she didn’t call your pee pee Veronica to the store.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Trifecta: NonfictionMy Profile

  9. Charity says:

    My kids would say something like that and than laugh…..terrible isn’t it.
    Charity recently posted..Standing my groundMy Profile

  10. Tiffany says:

    Damn that Hope!!!
    Tiffany recently posted..A true, funny storyMy Profile

  11. Boobies says:

    LMAO! I DIE! That’s hilarious…it almost makes me feel better about the time my kid told the cashier I had my boobs cut open to make them bigger. You’re right….Kids are assholes!
    Boobies recently posted..$59 ProSonic Cleaning & Exfoliating Brush SetMy Profile

  12. See, another reason to never wax! xo
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..Thanksgiving Craft FailMy Profile

  13. becky says:

    That story is amazing!
    becky recently posted..Random Thoughts….My Profile

  14. Oh.My.Gracious! That is fabulous! I love Hope, but more because she is your child and not mine!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..It Isn’t About the ChildrenMy Profile

  15. Shell says:

    I would have died laughing!
    Shell recently posted..The Last Year of Magic: Pour Your Heart OutMy Profile

  16. Lisa Hollis says:

    Wait until your teenage children allow their friend to get into your “goody” bag so that not only them but all of their friends know exactly what you do in your bedroom. My kids are mostly grown now and yes, I still have to see “that” friend. Fortunately, I don’t embarrass easily any more. Not after 4 kids. Who are just like yours. Which is why I can laugh at you :)

  17. Kristin says:

    Hahaha! Still haven’t done my pee-pee…
    Kristin recently posted..Oxygen Free!My Profile


  1. [...] *let’s all take a minute and be thankful I’m lucky enough to pay someone to wax Veronica for me… [...]

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