Thankful For Underwear

I’m totally lame in that before we eat our Thanksgiving dinner I make everyone in the family go around and share what they’re thankful for…

We got all the stock responses of family, Jesus, plenty of food…and then it was Jack’s turn…

What’s Jack thankful for? Underwear….

And everyone got a good chuckle…but then I thought about it…

Underwear…yes, I too am thankful for underwear…and you should be too…and here’s why…

1. From what I hear, balls are pretty cumbersome to carry around, wearing underwear? somewhat helps yield them in…

2. My kids fart. A lot. On purpose. I need a barrier between their stinky asses and my furniture.

3. Ladies, you know we need to wear undies…because don’t even try to pretend you don’t get that funky discharge from your cha cha…and do you really want that shit just hanging out on your jeans?

4. And really? I don’t know about you but Veronica is pretty sensitive, and she would be not too thrilled to just be rubbing all up against the rough middle part of my jeans all day…

5. Spanx. These totally count as underwear, and without those babies my fat rolls would not be camoflouged as awesomely as they usually are…

6. If having kids has caused your boobs to hang to your knees give me AMEN! So I know all you bitches are thankful for underwire bras…without which I’d have to hold my boobs every time I ran across the house who the hell is screaming now…

Yes, underwear….I’ll expect you all to remember this for next Thanksgiving when people ask what you’re thankful for…

So what was your answer this year?

*yeah, I’m totally linked up with Mama Kat

Comments

  1. I agree. I said I was thankful for my family.
    Mary Kirkland recently posted..Private Selection Helped My Thanksgiving DinnerMy Profile

  2. I feel like underwear is a perfect answer! You know what I’m thankful for? Grannie panties. They hide my muffin top.
    NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner recently posted..101 Stocking Stuffers For PreschoolersMy Profile

  3. kristi says:

    My boss shared that she does not wear underwear…and I thought “Ewww.” I am very thankful for underwear and pantyliners. Just sayin’.

  4. Shary says:

    #4 made me laugh while nodding my head simultaneously. I sleep naked… except for underwear. I feel like I need them to keep my shit under control. :)
    Shary recently posted..Bump Update (23 weeks)My Profile

  5. Alison says:

    Underwear – one of those daily things we take for granted. AMEN for underwear!
    Alison recently posted..The To-Do ListMy Profile

  6. Kat says:

    Too often overlooked and under appreciated, thank you for bringing this beloved undergarment to light on such an important day.
    Kat recently posted..Black Friday Yay or Nay?My Profile

  7. Becca says:

    Oh, well, since you put it that way, yes, underwear is *certainly* something to be thankful for! And I’m thankful for underwires because they make my *non-existent* boobs just that *teeny* tiny bit more like Jessica Rabbit’s. Or maybe that’s the gel packs that are stuffed into the little pockets just above the underwires… And I will be thankful for Spanx next weekend when I shove my flabby bits into a slinky gown for a black-tie affair…
    Becca recently posted..Thanksgiving BreakMy Profile

  8. Boobies says:

    I’m thankful for underwear too! Mainly because I once had a family photo shoot with my then boyfriend & his family. Wardrobe changes were provided. I had to show MY Veronica to all his female family members.

    While I’m here; I’m thankful for silicone, Jose Cuervo, the fake stomach ailment I “have” that excuses me to hide from the familia for 30 minutes without question, & reality t.v. Amen.

    I’m also thankful for you. Because you are hysterical!
    Boobies recently posted..Fix Yourself Girl-You Got A Camel ToeMy Profile

  9. I do enjoy a good underwire lined so my giant nipples don’t pop out bra! Hoorah for underwear!!
    Stephanie @ Babe’s Rockin’ Mami recently posted..Goodbye South CarolinaMy Profile

  10. I gave up on the whole thankfulness before dinner thing the last time we tried to do it as an extended family and the kids were all assholes about it.
    Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..Sibling Jealousy Rears Its Ugly HeadMy Profile

  11. Kale Rae says:

    Hmm….I wonder if Jesus wore underwear? I wish I could be thankful for bras. As a nursing mama right now – I’d be more thankful if a nursing bra was made to fit me. Somehow my boobs increased from a generous C to a E, borderline F…how the eff does that happen? Fancy schmancy lingerie stores that carry the bigger alphabet size don’t exactly make them to also act as nursing bras.
    Kale Rae recently posted..tearsMy Profile

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