The Black Mask

“Mommy” I hear Hope call out to me as I’m making dinner one night in early October…

“Mommy, I want to be Princess Tiana for Halloween.”

“Okay sweetie”  I reply, “Mommy will order the dress online and have it delivered before Trick or Treats”

“Okay Mommy. And don’t forget to order me a black girl mask too.”

What?! What?!  A black girl mask? Oh. My. Lord. I’m only thankful she didn’t ask in public and spared me people shooting me dirty looks…

“Um, Hopie….they don’t really make black girl masks.”

“But Mommy! Princess Tiana is not white like me, she has brown skin like Jordan* and I have to have brown skin too!”

“Um, how about if I buy you the matching shoes too? That way people will know you’re really Tiana? Because you have the dress and the shoes!”

“Or Mommy! You can paint my whole body black! Yeah, paint me black! Actually, I have to be brown!”

“Um, but then you’re dress will get ruined from the paint, so how about I buy you the dress and the shoes and the tiara! Then everyone will definitely know you’re Princess Tiana!”

“Okay Mommy, good idea!”

Phew! Crisis averted…and before I had to go into the whole blackface and how it’s frowned upon thing…

Two weeks later…at Party City while the boys are looking at costumes…

“MOMMY! HERE ARE BLACK PEOPLE MASKS! YOU SAID THEY DON’T MAKE BLACK PEOPLE MASKS, BUT I FOUND THEM! SO PEOPLE WITH WHITE SKIN CAN PRETEND TO HAVE BROWN SKIN ON HALLOWEEN!

So thank you to the makers of the President Obama mask…I wasn’t mortified at all**….

*one of her cousins

**huge fucking lie, I was so fucking embarrassed I wanted to grab all of my kids and run out while screaming that half of my nieces and nephews are mixed race and we love all people and that my four year old daughter is a fucking loon…

***After all of this Hope decided to be Belle…

Comments

  1. Alison says:

    Out of the mouths of babes, eh? Too. Funny.
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  2. LOL we just never know what the lil lovelies are going to say to embarrass us, do we.
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  3. Heather says:

    Oh I love! Don’t worry anyone in the costume section at Party City this time of year totally understands anything that transpired there.

  4. Anna Theurer says:

    Oh Hope. . . mortifying for you, yes. Yet, the kids have it right. They see color differences, but they do not care. When I was 3yo, I said to my mom “Look, mommy! A chocolate lady!”. My mom was mortified and fortunately the lady just laughed.
    Anna Theurer recently posted..Pets Don’t JudgeMy Profile

  5. Summer says:

    HAHAHAHA. Sorry. Kids are so funny. My 5 year old said he wanted to be a white guy for Halloween so I get your embarrassment.
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  6. Becca says:

    Hahaha!! Samantha has totally discovered the difference in skin color. Sitting in the therapists office waiting room one day, she looked back and forth at the lady next to her, finally reaching out, touching her arm and saying, “You’re brown.” The whole room cracked up. Lemme just tell ya, though, Samantha pulled it off very tastefully. Unlike *your* sticky situation. hahahahaha!!
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  7. Casi says:

    Ok I have to share my duh moment when it comes to race and mind you I am mixed race so it’s even worse! Remember the show Little People Big world. Ok we know it was about little people. Well we are sitting in the living room watching it and my grandma tells me they are making a new series called the Little Choclatiers….What do I ask….is it a show about little black people! Needless to say everyone was laughing at me :/
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  8. Cricket Sosa says:

    Oh my gosh lol gotta love kids! ahahahaha
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  9. Jester Queen says:

    GAH!! Glue her into the Tiana outfit I say!! With superglue and extra sparkles. (Kidding.) That’s so funny. (But only because it didn’t happen to me.)
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  10. I’m snorting!! LMAO I love it.
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  11. Chris Carter says:

    HA! That is a great story!!! My favortie part? Belle! She changes her mind after all that! CLASSIC.
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  12. Erin says:

    Oh no! Gotta love kids :) While I found this to be absolutely hilarious, I must admit that if my child had said it I too would have been mortified! I also would have quickly texted my hubby to let him know what his child said and that the next time he would be the one to take her shopping.
    Erin recently posted..7 Year Old Phineas and Ferb BirthdayMy Profile

  13. Jayme says:

    Such a sweet girl. She just wants to look exactly like Princess Tiana. By the way, my husband is dressing up as Kanye again this year. I fear one day someone is going to kick his ass.
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  14. Carrie says:

    I think the funniest part is that she decided to be Belle after all that!
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  15. Shell says:

    Ah, the innocence of kids!
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  16. Hah! I would have no clue how to explain or what to say either.
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  17. bwhahahaha LOVE IT!!!
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  18. Ronni Keller says:

    The 6 yr old had ‘Dress up as your fav historical figure day’ at school. My ghost white guy was determined to be Martin Luther King Jr… I was so proud. “Everyone else is gonna be Lincoln and wear dumb hats, I’m gonna give a speech”… (I have a dream) And… after dressing white boy up as MLK the best I could he frowned. “I ain’t brown!!! I need to be brown!!”…. I grabbed all the make up I had to darken him up, made a mascara mustache and eyebrows… He totally rocked the Mexican pimp look. With a shit eatin’ grin and gave his speech like a pro.
    (I sat back and waited for the phone to ring and letters to come home about how inappropriate it was and none did. My ready-made excuse was “If he wanted to be a proud, black man who gave his life for civil liberties, who am I to argue and shame on you for being so small and breaking a 6 year old’s tolerant, loving heart.) Think it would have saved my ass?
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