The Worst Mommy Ever

I’ve seen posts floating all over the blogosphere lately where mommy’s tell how they’re the worst mothers ever…

And to those posts I laugh…Bwahaha! ┬áSurely you all didn’t think you were a worst mother than me?

I take the prize on being the worst mommy ever….and here is the story in which I shall get my trophy…

A couple of weeks ago, on Labor Day actually, I was getting ready to take the kids to the museum….because I’m an awesome mom that way….

Eric popped in from a break in catering for a few minutes before we left and this is the conversation we had…

“Babe” says Eric “Where’s Brooke?”

“I don’t know, probably playing dolls in the bedroom”

And then I went about my business cleaning the kitchen*.

Meanwhile, Eric and the three big kids roughhoused in the living room….

All of a sudden…

Ding Dong!

It was the doorbell….

Eric goes to answer and who’s there? It’s our neighbor holding Brooke!

Yup…Brooke took my keys, went out to the driveway, and tried to get into the van….because duh! It was time to go to the museum!

Luckily, my neighbor was outside then, saw Brooke, scooped her up and brought her home…though she thought it was very funny that when she tried to take the keys from Brooke my little escapee refused to give them up!

Yup…my baby got outside and I didn’t know it….methinks it’s time for a home security system….she is one crafty little girl!

So Eric thanked the nice lady for bringing us our child back and the next day I baked her a I’m Not a Crackhead Mom Cake. ┬áLuckily, she’s cool and told me about she one time lost her son at the mall when he was three…

Gah! Who else has lost a kid?



  1. Becca says:

    Hahahaha, okay, makes mine look pretty pale by comparison. LOL Thankfully I have not *yet* lost my child. Sheesh, terrifying!!!
    Becca recently posted..Worst Mother In The WorldMy Profile

  2. Mom Off Meth says:

    Hahaha!! Oh, I have some stories that will make you give that trophy to me. I might have to think about that one for a bit….

    You are the best!!!
    Mom Off Meth recently posted..Shame and Fame.My Profile

  3. I lost my kid in the freaking KMart when she was 4 years old. But it wasn’t my fault. I took my mom and step dad to KMart and my step dad who was schizophrenic was looking at some of the kids toys with my daughter. Most of the time he was just fine, but sometimes he wasn’t and when he walked back over to the isle where my mom and I were without my 4 year old, I asked him where she was and he looked at me like he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.

    I was mad but it was my own fault. I went looking for her and that’s when I hear over the loud speaker…”Would the parents of Elizabeth please come to the security desk.” I walked over there and she ran over to me and I had to explain to the security officer what had happened and that I didn’t just lose my kid.
    Mary Kirkland recently posted..Favorite MovieMy Profile

  4. P. once got out but not for long because she happened to walk past the house just as I was looking out the window so I ran out and chased her down. We fixed the door after that…
    Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..On Budgets and Buying Kid’s ClothesMy Profile

  5. Jayme says:

    Oh God that always terrifies me! I haven’t lost a kid yet but Paige has hidden in clothes racks or out of sight several times and it makes me heart stop. My SiL woke up one morning and found that my niece had gotten up in the middle of the night and went outside and fell asleep. She was a sleepwalker. They got a security system the next day.
    Jayme recently posted..Practice Makes PERMANENTMy Profile

  6. Okay you win. My kids have never tried to drive away. lol
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..How To Order At A RestaurantMy Profile

  7. Michelle says:

    Lost a kid? Raising my hand! Here is my blog post on that:

    And then there was the time at the zoo.

    Oh, and just last Christmas at our town’s crowded Christmas tree lighting ceremony when she disappeared on me.

    Feel better?
    Michelle recently posted..Kayla’s Picture in Times SquareMy Profile

  8. Umm yeah maybe once or twice. But in my defense I totally found them.
    Making It Work Mom recently posted..Gratuitous Football Post and PicturesMy Profile

  9. I’ve not lost one like that, although my neighbor’s 4 year old has wandered to my house in that fashion. My parents had a friend who’s son climbed out of his crib, out his window, which opened into the inground pool, let himself out of the fence and went down the 1/2 mile drive to play in the puddles… at 2 am! They found out when he incessantly rang the doorbell because he couldn’t get back in!!!!!
    Single Mom in the South recently posted..Gearing Up for Fall in Full "Spirits"My Profile

  10. Alison says:

    So glad she was okay!

    I haven’t lost a child. Yet. :)
    Alison recently posted..Home Is Where All The Children’s Stuff IsMy Profile

  11. Cara says:

    My son goes for walks down the street all the time after his siblings. Lost him in Target once too, he likes to hide from Mommy and come out again right when I am ready to panic big time. Get one of those alarms that announce when a door is opened. And don’t worry we all survived our childhoods!

  12. Tara says:

    My kids haven’t tried to drive away but when our son was about 2.5 my hubby told him he would take him to the park. The phone rang, hubby answered it and the door blew open. I bet you can figure out what happened next, but it gets better. Since our son was potty training he was in underwear and shorts that day. Before leaving the house he had an accident and removed the shorts and underwear before taking off. Went outside and starrted making his way to the candy store. Two ladies found him and he told them he was going to go get candy. They thought his parents might be at the store so walked him there. Not finding us, they bought him candy (great idea…not) and took him back the way they came. He then told them where we lived when they asked. We put up a chain lock that afternoon.
    Tara recently posted..Monday Quiz About Me #MQAMMy Profile

  13. Only once for a split second but he’s only three, I have time to catch up! ;]
    stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..I know we are so, wait, what??My Profile

  14. A says:

    Three families of people (6 adults and 7 kids) went bowling and everyone’s kids wanted to ride with the aunt and uncle of their choice so we let em. No one did a head count until we got back home. My 8 year old was left at the bowling alley until my husband raced back to get him. Whoops. ;) Don’t feel so bad.

  15. stacy says:

    Holly, my 6 year old the other day was gone without us noticing. Turns out he down to the front of our apt building looking for me and accidentally locked himself out of the building. He was crying in the front when a mom with baby came up to him and buzzed us to let him in. no big deal we told him to keep it on the down low as it didn’t make us look very good. Well, back to school night.. would you know hanging up in the middle of the classroom is a BIG picture that he drew of him locked out of the house crying and the random woman helping him with the words above ‘MY HERO IS THE WOMAN WHO FOUND ME WHEN I WAS LOCKED OUT OF MY HOUSE’ so much for the down low.. not to mention everyone else had a hero that was related to them!!

    • holly says:

      that is so funny! oh, not the locked out and crying part, but the ratting on you part….but really? what a brat for totally selling you out!

  16. Sandi says:

    When my daughter was about 3 she was playing in the fenced yard with her two older brothers. I had gone inside to do something real quick and when I came out, the gate was open to the fence and she was gone. The boys had no idea where she had gone. I screamed to my husband and he took off one way down the street and I took off the other way, hysterical.
    My mother, who lived about a block from us, was gone on a trip. Apparently my daughter wanted to see Grandma because I found her sitting on my Mom’s front porch. She had somehow walked down a fairly busy street for a block without anyone seeing her!
    It took me days to get over that scare. I never did tell my mom because she would have freaked out even worse than me!
    Sandi recently posted..Personal responsibility and where did it go?My Profile

    • holly says:

      that’s an amazing sense of direction for a 3 year old…but damn! how scary…yikes! they just love to torture us, don’t they?

  17. Sarah says:

    You are adorable!! I love your blog- very honest. I thought I was the only one out there who admitted that my kids are, “scarred for life!” I was hoping that you would check mine out, read it, and follow me if you like it!! That would be SUPER!


  18. Galit Breen says:

    Ohmygoodness girl, who hasn’t been there?

    (Love the *blogging! I *clean that way, too! :) )
    Galit Breen recently posted..A Tiffany Tween RoomMy Profile

    • holly says:

      my husband was scared that when I posted this CPS was going to show up at the door and take our kids away, but really? none of us would actually have our kids….it happens to everyone!

      • Tara@momtwomonkeys says:

        We had a social worker show up after the whole naked walking instance..and they let us keep him still! LOL..I am sure they have more serious cases to work on but are mandated to check up on these things if someone reports, which unfortunately in our case the RCMP who my husband phoned were mandated to report.

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