Everyone thinks that a vagina is really only good for a couple of things….like sex, peeing, and popping out babies….
But guess what? You are WRONG!
Oh yeah…I said it…
Vaginas can do so much more….
And I know…
A few weeks ago I had the whole kitty waxed* and you know something? Now that Veronica’s growing out again she’s very prickly and ugly and just not happy….
So I wanted to perk her up…let her know that even though she’s not looking her best I still love her…and even though Eric may be saying ouch! when she’s around, there’s plenty of other things she can do….
Veronica thought I was just being nice…just trying to give her something to do…you know-busy work…
So I had to up the ante…
After seeing how the floors shined with her help, Veronica was starting to perk up…but she still was feeling bad for being so prickly and unwelcoming to Eric…so I had an idea….
Finally! Finally, Veronica was happy and feeling like her old self….
And I could rest easy knowing that after days of sadness I had myself a happy vagina again!
*insert big sigh here…I had it videotaped to show you my face and how bad it hurt and then I erased the whole thing on accident…guess I have to do it again…
You must do it again because there has to be video evidence!
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..Little Camp On The Prairie
naturally…
I am impressed you even got Veronica waxed. I don’t have the guts to do it plus the lady I go to for waxing is a tiny, litle, angry Vietnamese lady and she scares me.
I’m pretty impressed with myself too…and I’m going to keep it up…so worth it!
can i hump veronica?
I literally snorted imaging you waxing the floor with your pants down.
Alison recently posted..Memories Captured – August Link Up!
next time I’ll take a real life picture and maybe then you’ll spray your coffee across the room….
I was laughing until you got to the Floss part. And then I started throwing up. So if that was the point of this post, Congratulations!!!
m.
Mark recently posted..Little House
I always have to go just a bit too far, huh?
Poor Veronica, bet she doesn’t feel as handy now! I shave mine all the way every few months (used to be once a week, then I had a kid) and the growing out part is so obnoxious!!
stephanie @ babe’s rockin’ mami recently posted..The Organ Made Me Do It
I tried shaving, but my skin is so damn sensitive…
Not sure I’ll be trying any of these tips…lol If I tried washing the floor with my hoohaw, I think hubby might call the men with the little white jackets that make you hug yourself. LOL
Mary Kirkland recently posted..Captcha Tip
but then you’d have peace and quiet and some good pills…haha!
Really..cleaning makes yours happy?? Shhh…Some secrets are meant to be kept!!
well, I wouldn’t say full fledged happy…but happier than being useless….
Thank you for making me laugh!
Melissa Lawler recently posted..Review: Almost Amish by Kathryn Cushman
you are so freaking welcome!
This is so flipping funny. Never waxing the va-jay-ya. EVER. lol
Elizabeth Towns recently posted..Free Blogger Opp – Soda Stream Giveaway – Sign Ups 8/12 – 8/13
I think everyone should do it once! Bring a friend to hold your hand…and stuff a rag in your mouth so your screams don’t scare others…haha
I’m dying!!!
just don’t pee on yourself…it’s never a good look
Oh my gosh . . . I can’t help but laugh at this one!
Erin recently posted..I’m Still Here
I <3 YOU!…
Like, for real. Big, pink, fuzzy (pun?) hearts… With Unicorns wearing frilly bows…
That's all…
Ronni Keller recently posted..Gluten Free Dessert Recipe: Cookies & Cream No Bake Cheesecake
thanks! and I appreciate the pun!
DAMN, girl. You just WENT THERE, didn’tcha???
Like, ALL. THE WAY. THERE.
*High five!*
I think?
Kristen Mae recently posted..A Fresh Start, Some Crazy, and a Prayer for a Gift Horse
oh, I always go there….high five back!
OMG, girl! No you di’int!!!!!! LOL! I am ROLLING over here!!!!
Kim recently posted..Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire…
oh yes I did!
So Eric’s sporting a beard rash. The neighbours will be talking!. Must confess this post turned me on just a little….excuse me whilst I go grab the razor!!! Lol
haha! and Eric wears a full beard and stache, so the neighbors don’t know a thing….haha!
Well if there is no video evidence then you must forsake yourself for the blog again!
Single Mom in the South recently posted..A Southern Series: Chicken and Waffles
yes. Yes I know
LMAO!!!!
Melissa Rheinlander recently posted..Interview with Amber Garr #Author of The Syrenka Series
Uhhhhh….WE GONNA NEED MORE WAX!!!!!!
Clear all my appointments for the afternoon!!
This is one of the main reasons I choose not to get waxed. The other is I’m just not that crazy. Yet.
Kristin recently posted..Philly fans can’t catch a break. Ever.
you got to do it…it’s so worth it….
and kudos to the 40 year old virgin reference
I have NO idea how I got here. But lordhavemercy…THAT was the funniest thing I have EVER read! WOW! I almost couldn’t even post a comment from crying laughing.
thank you so much! I hope you didn’t pee on yourself from laughing so hard…
Hilarious!
why thank you!
That is too hilarious! stopping by from Masshole Mommy’s guest post
irene recently posted..How My Husband Ruined My Vacation