A Rocket Made of Snot

I very rarely have time to myself…a minute in the kitchen while kids are brushing teeth, a second when I lock myself in the bathroom, maybe even five whole minutes if I pretend to have diarrhea*…

And I cherish every moment alone I do have…

Because there are certain things I can’t do around my kids…

There are some things I need alone time for…

There are some habits of mine I don’t want the brood to pick up on…

Yes, that’s me…

And yes, I’m blowing a snot rocket…

A rocket made of snot…

That I purposely shoot out of my nose…

I’ve already confessed to you my love of nose picking, but I wasn’t completely honest with you…

Because sometimes picking out that crusty boog and wiping it on Eric isn’t an option…and not just because he gets mad and yells at me to stop and calls me a crazy bitch, but because sometimes when I need to get that booger out he’s not here…

So that’s when I bring my finger up to my nose and shoot out a snot rocket…

Because what’s the point of getting boogs out of your nose if it’s no fun?

Because boogers? Are super fun! Sometimes they’re stretchy and slimy. Sometimes they’re crusty and hard…you never know what you’re going to get…it’s like a surprise every time! And who doesn’t love surprises?!

Like Christmas! Or Mother’s Day!

Every day! Yay!!

Snot rockets rule!

But, uh, not in front of the kids…

Because that would be crazy…

And this bitch? Isn’t crazy…

Right?

Comments

  1. Mark says:

    And here, I thought you were a “lady”. I might have to rethink that!
    m.

  2. You might like to pick..and you have to get them out somehow, right? But did you know that it might strengthen the Immune System to eat your boogers? I kid you not…
    http://voices.yahoo.com/is-bad-eat-boogers-5961868.html?cat=25

  3. Deanna says:

    Bahahahahaha.. i love this!!!!!!!!

  4. I have to say that this is only appropriate to do whilst running.

    Or evidently at anytime if it’s you.

    Because you are awesome

    xo

  5. Tiffany says:

    That’s my Holly: gross but hilarious!!!

  6. Lori A. says:

    I think I just threw up a little bit. Am I missing something? Looking for the * to diarrhea…because it’s important for me to know.

  7. Ally says:

    Ditto what Lori A. said. I mean, if we’re going to talk about snot rockets, we should talk about the other end, too. (*diarrhea)

  8. My soon to be EX husband used to do that shit in the shower. Who do you think had to clean the shower? ME. It makes me sick just thinking about it! Ass.
    If you wiped a boogie on me, I’d probably bite you. We’d have an all-out girl fight!

  9. PS I wonder, if I tried to shoot a snot rocket, if my nose stud would fly out….??? Pondering….

  10. Charity says:

    I really don’t know what to say, lol

  11. I will never admit to whether or not I agree with this. NEVER.

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