Vajazzle Your Vagina!

Sweetie, what would you think if I decided to dress up Veronica?

That was the question I posed to Eric the other night in bed….

Like what?! The cheerleading skirt?

He started to get excited…

No, like a vagina wig…maybe neon? Or leopard?

What? Are you serious?

Clearly he thought I was joking….

Oh yeah I’m serious! I think it’s called a merkin…

Holly, please stop talking….

But guess what? I. am. not. joking. These things are real! Yes, I swear it!

One of my facebook fans left the link to the article on my wall, thinking it would interest me, and damn! Was she right!

There is a spa in New York that is selling fox fur and feather pretty up your vagina-ers. Are you still with me? It’s like a wig for your vagina! A fucking wig for your vagina!

Because apparently Veronica has to look better than the rest of me….and her beauty isn’t cheap…these suckers are about $200…

But before I shell out that kind of cash, I want to make sure they’ll look good…

And how good will it look? You tell me…

I know what your thinking…it looks like I have my period or something…hmmm, how about this then?

How sexy would I be? Although feathers are very in right now…so maybe I should shell out the cash for that look…

Yes?

Who’s with me? Vagina wigs rule!

Comments

  1. Oh My Gawd, I have to get one for Vivian! I need one in purple. Fo sho.

  2. Dying…just dying…. today is like my Monday because I’ve been home with a sick kid for the last two days… Happy Monday to me! Did I mention I’m dying over here!

  3. The feathers would go up his nose!

  4. Anna Theurer says:

    Oh Holly, you had me spewing coffee all over my keyboard with this post. I agree with the above commenter-the feathers would go up his nose. BTW pytergium (I finally recalled the correct spelling) is a growth over the conjunctiva of the eye–it is sort of like skin growing over it. It was real common in that little town in Oaxaca and the prescribed treatment was wash your eyes with urine 3 x day. It actually appears to work! (Gross, I know).

  5. Ange says:

    So what you are telling me is that while I spend anywhere from $50-$85 to get the hair RIPPED OUT of my vagina, people are paying $200 to get hair ON their vagina?

    This just in… I will now begin selling real hair vagina “wigs” (in three weeks, after my next waxing appointment).

  6. If memory serves, the merkin’s origins are obscure. The word came into existence in the early 1600s. After a case of crabs, women would shave their pubes. Then they would wear a pussy-wig (love typing that), presumably to fool their husbands. But it’s hard to imagine anyone being fooled – it’s not like a merkin stays put during sex.
    The fox-fur merkin is admittedly good looking. But seems a cruel reason to kill a fox. (I’m biased… son’s name is Fox.)

  7. I think it’s fine if that’s what you want to do…but if I want to dress up down there…I’ll buy a pair of edible underwear and tell hubby here’s his treat..

  8. Jess says:

    Even in the midst of some intense grief, this post made me laugh out loud! Hilarious! Thanks for the small bright spot today :-)

  9. Robin says:

    Oh my GAWD – that would scare my husband into never having sex with me again. Damn, I better go make an appointment lmao.

  10. I am both disgusted and intrigued.

  11. Doooooooode! That is crazy. How about I just stop shaving for a while so I won’t need a wig. Now if someone was talking about sticking sequins and jewels on my vag then that is something that I can get behind. ;) Oh wait … don’t I owe you a vajazzled vagina?

  12. Ally says:

    First of all, when I see a post title like that, I have to click NOW.
    But let me get this straight. A place that specializes in REMOVING the hair, now sells $200 wigs so you can have… hair again. But pretty, colored hair. (the leopard idea is kinda cool)
    So I went to the Completely Bare site – the feathers aren’t really doing it for me. I think I’d rather have the henna Vatoo or the Vajewel. Yeah, definitely the Vajewel.
    What the heck??!

  13. Kathren says:

    Omg! That’s freaking hilarious. :)

  14. Tania says:

    Hahahaha only in NYC of course thus why I love that crazy place

  15. Tiffany says:

    Wow. I’ve heard everything now.

  16. Jessica says:

    I googled “merkin” the other day after someone was talking about it on twitter. Visions begone.

  17. Boobies says:

    BWHAHHAHAHAH! Love this! I’d rock a vag wig. Why not? You only live once!

  18. Bella says:

    Wow. And all this time I’ve been shaving and sporting a thong? Gosh! I really need to get with the times! LMAO. Thanks for the giggle.

  19. Adrienne says:

    What in the world? LOL Who knew?!

  20. Tami says:

    I laughed hard from beginning to end of this post. You are too funny Holly. :)

  21. Angela says:

    OMG. I am seriously in hysterics after reading your post. Vagina wigs??!!? LMAOOOO

  22. Tara says:

    hilariously awesome!!!

  23. Theresa says:

    The technical term for a vagina wig is a merkin.

  24. Holly,
    I have no idea how I ended up here. Maybe SU? Maybe fate?

    But what I do know is that I’m dying. Of laughter. Really? It’s already a bit comical for me how much effort women today go to in efforts to spruce up their vagina but this is so over the top it is comical. I think. I hope.

  25. Chrystal says:

    iCackled! Girl, why don’t you live down the street from me?!

    Crap.

  26. Lexi says:

    YES! Now I know what we’re going to make at my next church craft night.

  27. Anon. says:

    WTF STUMBLEUPON? W.T.F.!!!!!! DA FAUQ!

  28. SERIOUSLY?! Women really do this?!
    Sunday Stilwell recently posted..Special Needs Ryan Gosling, Week 6My Profile

  29. Melissa says:

    You are so funny! I’m reading at working, trying to laugh silently. Hopefully nobody comes into my office. I don’t really want to explain what I’m laughing at….
    Melissa recently posted..4 MonthsMy Profile

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