I said it last year, and I’ll say it this year…I can’t fucking stand New Year Resolutions…
Sure, it’s a new year, a new beginning, but if you want to be a better person or make a change, don’t wait for a reason, just do it!
So in the spirit of loathing resolutions, here is a list of my (un)resolutions…which are things I damn well ain’t gonna change…
1. My fucking potty mouth. I get shit every once in a while, both here and on my fan page, where people tell me how unattractive my swearing is. And to that I say, it’s my page, so fuck off…because fuck? is the best word ever. It’s a verb- Go fuck yourself! It’s a noun-He’s such a dumb fuck! It’s an adverb-She’s so fucking stupid! And it’s so much more…try it, you’ll like it!
2. My narcissism…because this sassy bitch?
Is damn cute*!
4. My gossiping. Yup, that’s right. I gossip. But don’t you worry…I do it the right way, you know, behind your back…that way your feelings won’t be hurt….
5. My use of the good pillows. Eric may work damn hard all day, but this bitch can not sleep well without firm neck and head support…so I get the $40 pillow and Eric get’s the $10 pillow. Why the discrepency in monetary value? Because when out shopping he told me not to spend too much, so I splurged on me. Big fucking surprise….
6. My love of the V-neck shirt. When your best feature is your DD breasts, you flaunt it…because I think showing off my boobs makes my ass look way smaller**. So I wear them everywhere, from the gym to volunteering….don’t worry, the kids love seeing them!
7. My love of The Challenge on MTV. Some people say my taste in TV is juvenile, and to that I say you’ve obviously never seen CT without his shirt on punching some punk in the face…drunk hot messes rule!
8. And my love of making lists of shit I like and don’t like…
What about you? Do you do the resolution thing? Or are you like me and blow it off?
*aren’t those earrings gorgeous?! Tricia was kind enough to make them and send them to me for my birthday, and no, she didn’t ask for a plug, but here’s one anyway, go visit her shop and get yourself some awesomely beautiful jewelry!
**just amuse me people…