Describe a time when a child’s honesty made you think….that’s the statement given to me by Mama Kat for her Writer’s Workshop…
Oh, I’ve got one all right, and the kid’s honesty made me think about throwing him out the window…
It was Jack…
Of course…Jack…Jack who likes to destroy me with his questions…usually about my saggy droopy boobs…
But not this time! Nope, he went for another part of my anatomy…
Setting: my bedroom, where all I want is to get dressed in fucking peace…
Jack walks in…”Mom, why don’t you have a belly button?”
“Jack, what are you talking about? (exasperated and rushing, and a bit annoyed to once again be dressing with an audience) Of course I have belly button…see?
Warning: the image you are about to see may be disturbing to some viewers…Viewer discretion is advised*….
“Mom! (laughing his little five year old laugh) I guess I couldn’t see it because of your wrinkly hangy skin! Hahahaha! Your belly button is funny! It’s so funky! Like Funky Kong! I bet that’s what his belly button looks like too! Except hairy! Do you shave your belly too?
“No Jack, I don’t shave my belly. Get out”
Kids say the darndest things, huh? Especially my little brats angels…
*please be aware that at one time I had a beautiful belly button…a gorgeous innie with a super cute ring through it…and now after four ungrateful rotten smelly children I am stuck with that….
Don’t feel bad about the belly button thing. I remember being a teenager and sincerely thinking that my stomach was fat and disgusting. HA! Oh the stupidity of teenagers. Little did I know that less than 20 years later, I would beg, cheat, steal and lie to have that “fat” stomach back again. lol Three kids, 4 laproscopy surgeries later my stomach now IS chubby….and looks like frankenstein. lol
I really need to stop blogging. I’m learning about too many things that I never wanted to know.
mark
Kids and their honesty. Sometimes I want to spank them for it. (I don’t, so don’t go hate on me people)
My belly button was once cute. With a ring in it- and then a bar. And then my monsters destroyed it. I’d like some lipo and belly button reconstruction, please.
BAWHAHAHAHA! That’s what my belly button looks like too. Dumb kids
HAHAHA!! I used to have a cute inny and now an outie thanks to 3 c-sections. You crack me up!
When I first saw the picture I stopped reading and thought, ‘Hey! Where’d she get a picture of my belly button?’. And then I continued reading and breathed a sigh of relief… not MY belly! I call this the mama belly. The I-went-through-the-pain-of-birthing-3-children belly. The these-are-my-battle-scars belly. I earned this belly. And now I wear a swimsuit that totally covers it.
HEY! We are the belly-button twins. (:
At least Jack doesn’t pull on and play with my “stretchy like a rubber band” (as my youngest describes mine lol) belly-button.
And, yes, I used to(I said, USED TO) have a nice, perfectly round inny.
Hahaha! Oh, kids. My daughter loves to talk about my “drippy boobies”, “gray skin with splotches” and “yucky, gray hair”. They’re so lovely.
She is not only beautiful, but so pruocies! You captured her spirit so beautifully in the pictures. I know they will love to look back years from now and see her strength and peace and grace and beauty.
Ok so I have to confess. After reading this I actually pulled up my shirt to see what my belly button looked like because I really had no idea.
What does that say about me????
And yes I used to have the cute little belly button ring.
*sigh* The 90′s
And now my belly button looks like yours.
You would think someone would want to sponser Bloggers reconstructive Belly button surgery.
Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?
LOL Kids are so funny *Yeah right* mine once asked me if she was going to have a big nose like me when she got bigger…with a straight face I told her yes and hairy ears like daddy. *Daddy didn’t think it was funny but mommy got all sorts of laughs form the looks on her face.*
I really don’t appreciate you posting pics of my belly button on your blog. How.rude.
You are so awesome. Jack needs a time out.
Ohh, kids have a way of making you feel like shit, don’t they? One day, there was a proactive commercial on and one of mine said, “mommy! u need that to get rid of those booboos on your face!”. Doh!!!! Little brats.
OMG I die…also I remember asking my mother the same thing when I was 5 and her belly looked like that. Now I know why she yelled at me. Love you.
You are my hero for posting that picture. I’m right there with you, friend! And my twin-skin ain’t goin’ anywhere anytime soon considering the fact that I will probably never be able to afford plastic surgery.
One more on the list of things that no one tells us about. I am laughing at Mark’s comment. Poor Mark, reading all of our TMI for the good of blogging.
You are very brave! My child has definitely made comments about my flaws, as well as my husband’s.
i just discovered your blog!
and it rocks my world!! especially this post hahaha
thanks for making me smile, even before my first cup of coffee. that never happens!
thank you for donating, Holly!!
Well, if it makes you feel better, I do have to shave my belly button just like Funky Kong.
Cracking up. Too funny and I can’t stop laughing. You’re awesome and I wish I was as handy with a camera as you. I’d be taking pictures too. Once upon a time we had it all. Now they can’t stop mocking us. LOL. Rereading so I can laugh again…Thanks for sharing.
Oh LORD,, Holly!
I, too, like to get dressed in peace and with privacy and this is exactly why… the questions!!!!
Holly – Wait, it seems like you haven’t been properly brainwashed into understanding that is beautiful!! You haven’t seen: http://theshapeofamother.com/ ? I don’t know if it is that website making me think this or reality but that is a beautiful belly you have! puts mine to shame.
My belly looks similar but more skin, my kids are obsessed with my stomach, like if they are sitting next to me they have to have their hand on my belly. They love it and are sure to tell me when it is more ‘puffy’ then usual. Also I weigh less than i have ever weighed and it looks totally the same, with saggy skin all around to boot.
Honestly I see people posting on gap reviews that cite their height/weight and claim they are like a size 4 and I can barely get into a 10 because of the skin. (though don’t get me wrong, i am happy with that, again don’t know if it is proper brainwashing or what, i am convinced my body is beach ready (i’ll send you a pic so you know it isn’t)
Stacy
Your tummy is in good company with mine! Colin, my four year old, thinks I have 3 belly buttons and that Ben drinks from two of them. He came up with that idea himself and I didn’t correct him – couldn’t imagine teaching him the word “breast” quite yet.
Oh those sweet little monkeys say the damnedest things, don’t they! Argh!
Our latest funny – my sister told my little nephew, who had grabbed a big wad of toilet paper, that he only needed one sheet (it was still like 8 squares) for his little booty. He looked at her and said, “But you need 2 sheets for your big booty, right Mama?”
Priceless, aren’t they?
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