The Spin

Spinning…

It’s not my thing…

And before you jump on my shit and accuse me of naysaying something before I even tried it, let me assure you I’ve tried it…

And once I get my ass in gear I have a vlog coming your way getting into more detail on why it’s not my cup of tea*…

But until then, here’s one quick reason why I don’t like spin…

This is the size of the bike seat…

And yes, I’m aware that my inadequate drawing has left the seat looking like a penis drawn by a ten year old boy…you think you can do better? Bring it…until then, just roll with it…

And here is the size of my ass….

Oh yeah, it’s naked for your pleasure…do you like that?

And here is what happens when that big fat ass sits on that itty bitty seat…

Yeah, you see that little black dot that looks like a piece of shit? That is not shit, because I may pee on myself in public, even I draw the line at public defacation**. That is the seat, so far up my ass I’m surprised the spin instructor didn’t have to pry me off the bike or use some sort of chisel to separate us…I seriously felt like I should have taken the seat out for a drink or something after our intimate hour together…

That must have been why the class was full of skinny bitches…apparently you need to graduate to spin…

Or buy a wide ass seat…

Anyone know where to get one?

*or cup of nonfat caramel brulee latte with whip***…oh, how I love Starbucks during the holidays…

**and some of you thought I had no class…guess I showed you!

***don’t judge…the nonfat milk and whip cancel each other out…so there

 

Comments

  1. Whitney Soup says:

    LMAO!! the last drawing is hilarious

  2. Molly says:

    I spun once. The woman was going “push push! we’re climbing a big hill now!” and I’m going “first of all, we’re not in labor bitch, and second… WE ARE IN A ROOM I AM NOT ON A HILL i hate thissssss”

  3. maggie says:

    um, the first picture….. yeah…. you don’t want to know what i thought your post was about.

  4. Ally says:

    I totally agree on the nonfat and whip… though I love me a Peppermint Mocha! :)

  5. Shell says:

    My husband’s dirty mind is apparently rubbing off on me. B/c when I saw the pic of the seat and put that together with “spinning” I was thinking of something else entirely.

  6. I’ve done spin a few times but it is so boring to me! I know what you mean with the seat 2. It’s just not comfy.

  7. The nonfat milk and whipped cream ABSOLUTELY cancel each other out. You are my kinda girl!

  8. Jessica says:

    I have never tried a spin class but if I do I will not be able to look at the seat the same ever again.

  9. Oh how I LOVE your drawings! The first one of the penis seat gave me a good giggle, then the one of it shoved into your ass made me laugh. Could’ve awakened the kids with that one! I tried spinning once. Why we pay for torture is beyond me…

  10. So I’ve never heard your voice but I could just hear you saying “Do you like that?” Heh.
    I’ve never done spin class. I don’t like to sweat and breathe heavily and stuff. Totally cramps my style.

  11. Renee says:

    I feel the same way about spinning!! Those seats are the worst! You seriously crack me up! Thank you for the laughs. :)

  12. Sela Toki says:

    Laughing hysterically. Bust out laughing at the drawing of the seat. Bahaha.. and then comes the comparison pictures. Thank you for making my day.

  13. Sela Toki says:

    Oh and I must say I tried spinning once. Those seats are a torture to sit on. Got me waddling like a duck afterwards.

  14. Too Funny!! Visiting from Shell’s blog and so glad I am!

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  1. [...] Because if you remember, I’ve tried spin before, and I had some issues with the problem that comes along with spin class…. [...]

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