The Big Truck

I like most everyone*…

But there is one woman in car line I can’t stand…

And it’s not fair to her…she really didn’t do anything…

Except she drives what I feel is the most obnoxious truck ever…

Seriously, you can’t miss the chick…

And it’s not because she’s sickingly adorable with her petite stature and curly blond hair…or because she always has her adorable little poodle like lap dog sticking it’s head out her window…

But because her truck takes up the whole damn car line…


And it makes me crazy every single day I see her…

It’s seriously the tallest truck I’ve ever seen out on a road…

And it pisses me off…

Because I know why she’s driving it…

So people notice her…

And hello????

I’m the bitch everyone is supposed to be looking at in car line!

Oh yeah, the super fly mom pulling up in her Grand Caravan…

But nope, everyone is looking at Miss Obnoxiously Big Truck Lady….

And quietly seething because they can’t see in front of the truck….

I know what everyone is car line is thinking too…

They’re all thinking what I’m thinking…

Do you double dog dare me?

*if you believe that you obviously don’t know me…


  1. It’s totally okay to like someone for what seems like a silly reason, as long as it makes sense in your head! :-)

  2. Jessica says:

    Okay a big truck and a little poodle do NOT go together.

  3. Megan Miller says:

    hahahaha! DO IT!!!! how dare that bitch…..

  4. Mark says:

    I have a co-worker who is 5 ft and drives an Expedition or something huge like that. I watch her, literally, climb into the thing. It’s so funny!
    Your Friend, m.
    p.s. I love the visuals!

  5. It sure would be a shame if some sugar accidentally spilled into that big ol’ gas tank.

  6. Shell says:

    I kinda want a truck like that. Not so people can look at me… but to help with my road rage.

  7. Ally says:

    Secretly, I want to drive the big truck – just to be obnoxious. But yeah, if I’m sitting behind her in my little car, I’m totally thinking of slashing the tires. :)

  8. Tracy says:

    Ugh. Nothing makes me crazier than people who drive heinous monster SUVs. Not regular-sized one, but GINORMOUS ones, like Hummers. In this day and age when people are really starting to become more green, it just makes them look like asses.

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    Now this is hilarious. Gotta love your spirit. Read your post on Shell’s page and decided to check out your blog. Loving it.

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