Lost at the IHOP-A Blond Moment

Sometimes shit happens that leaves me almost* too embarrassed to share with you…

Like what happened today…

After my Zumba class I decided to take the kiddos to IHOP since Eric was working all day and I was trying to keep them busy and out of the house…

Are you thinking that one of my kids threw the most embarrassing tantrum ever** and that’s what I’m going to write about?

Ha! You are wrong!

It was way more¬†embarrassing than that…luckily, only my children and myself, and perhaps a handful of strangers saw….

So…this is what happened…I gather my brood and cross the parking lot to the entrance when I see this…

Huh, I thought, I didn’t know IHOP had another entrance…

So I tell the kids to follow me, there must be another door on the side of the building…perhaps they built one during the remodel a year ago***….

And so we’re walking, and we’re walking, and the people are looking at us through the windows****…

And we’ve walked all the way to the back of the restaurant by the dumpster and my kids are now questioning if we’re ever going to go inside and eat…

And now we’re on the other side of the building traipsing through the grass and the whining is starting in earnest and I’m wondering where the hell the other entrance is…

When suddenly Blake says, Mom, I think the sign just meant the door right next to the first door…

Oh wow…

Yeah, I totally knew that…

Totally…I just wanted the kids to work up an appetite…

*but as we all know I have no shame…sigh

**please, give me some credit, like public tantrums embarrass me? A kid could break down in the middle of my gym and kick and scream and I wouldn’t bat an eye, and yes, I can back that up because Hope did that this morning…

***oh IHOP, how I’ve missed thee….

****people need to mind their own fucking business…except, you know, if it’s me, then I’ll stare all I want…


  1. Megan Miller says:

    I was literally crying i laughed so hard at this post.

  2. Mercurial says:

    OMG…okay, that was fantastic. And to prove how big a wuss I am…I would’ve been like, “No, I think they’re closed. C’mon, lets go.” And then I would’ve driven to the IHOP in another town where no one had seen me walking around looking for the door.

  3. Hillary says:

    This story pretty much made my life. Do I normally get amusement out of others embarrassments- yes, Im a bitch like that. But really I actually 100% empathize with you because I did that the other day at school. Use other door- oh guess that means theres construction going on. Walked away only to find some dude walk right inside using the other door. Who the hell makes signs like these? Seriously. It needs to say. Please don’t use this door. Please use the one beside it. Gah. If only we ruled the world.

  4. Ange says:

    Sounds like something that would happen to be, but then after we finally got into the place Alex would probably tell EVERYONE of my mishap.

    And he would not stop talking about it for weeks, if not years.

  5. This totally sounds like something I would do. I’m sort of an airhead. Lately I feel like all I ever say is “huh??” and “wait…what?”

  6. Tiffany says:

    That is fricking hilarious!!!! Only you!

  7. Jessica says:

    Hilarious. And you take all of your children out to eat? I only do that when I have stored up my patience for days and forgotten about the last time I took all of them somewhere. And why do so many people stare when our kids freak out? Yesterday every person in Kroger watched as my daughter did the perma-whine all through the store. Have we not ALL seen this before?

  8. I would do that. LOL!

  9. Lori A. says:

    You can’t make that stuff up. :)

  10. So funny! Have I said lately that I LOVE your blog! Really, you always make me smile. :)

    ~ Amanda

  11. Shell says:

    THAT is awesome.

    So something I would do.

    And right now? I’m craving IHOP. Stuffed French Toast.

  12. Hidalina says:

    Ok this had me peeing on myself..This was awesome.

  13. Laura says:

    Thank you for making me laugh – I needed to!

  14. Oh Holly, I am laughing so hard right now. Not at you of course. OK, at you.

  15. Michelle says:




    Really, do I have to say any more? *giggle* Never mind, I can’t. I’m still laughing too hard. But WITH you, not at you. I promise.

  16. tania says:

    omg thank you that was hilarious I needed that laugh today! Oh how I wish I was one of the customers peeking out the window and could have seen that lol. ;)

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