Yellow. Most people love yellow…or at least like it, and why shouldn’t they?
Yellow is the color of canary diamonds, the color of sunshine, the color of happiness and sparkly days forever.
For most people anyway….
I personally detest the bright happy flare in my eyes that is the color yellow.
Yellow is my enemy.
Yellow is my Kryptonite. Yellow is my headache. Yellow is all things extra work for this over tired, over caffienated, over all the piss and snot in my life mama.
Yellow is the wet spot on the carpet made by Hope who peed there because I sent her to her room for some other bit of naughty behavior.
Yellow is that weird dried pee stain on the bottom of the toilet seat I can’t get off no matter how much I fucking scrub it*.
Yellow is the dripping in my underwear when I laugh too much or sneeze unexpectedly and my bladder isn’t totally empty**.
Yellow is the huge piece of booger I walk around with all day on my shoulder courtesy of Brooke that no one tells me about, ruining any shot of looking put together for once.
Yellow is the corn that seemingly holds all of Brooke’s shit together.
Yellow is the funky eye crusties my kids get that I have to pick out for them***.
Yellow is the color of my nightshirt after I wake up to discover a random child has crawled into my bed specifically to pee a gallon’s worth of stinky strong backed up urine onto my side of the bed.
So for you yellow may be all things daisies and sunshine and lemon flavored vodka, but for me, yellow is the color of evil…
*seriously, am I the only one with these pee stains? I have tried everything to get them off…freaking gross…
**I’d like to take this time to thank my four children for both ruining my bladder and making me incredibly unsexy while still in my 20′s….
***okay, I enjoy the crusties…
****this post is linked up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop-and I swear that one day I’ll figure out how to get that damn button on here