Yellow. Most people love yellow…or at least like it, and why shouldn’t they?
Yellow is the color of canary diamonds, the color of sunshine, the color of happiness and sparkly days forever.
For most people anyway….
I personally detest the bright happy flare in my eyes that is the color yellow.
Yellow is my enemy.
Yellow is my Kryptonite. Yellow is my headache. Yellow is all things extra work for this over tired, over caffienated, over all the piss and snot in my life mama.
Yellow is the wet spot on the carpet made by Hope who peed there because I sent her to her room for some other bit of naughty behavior.
Yellow is that weird dried pee stain on the bottom of the toilet seat I can’t get off no matter how much I fucking scrub it*.
Yellow is the dripping in my underwear when I laugh too much or sneeze unexpectedly and my bladder isn’t totally empty**.
Yellow is the huge piece of booger I walk around with all day on my shoulder courtesy of Brooke that no one tells me about, ruining any shot of looking put together for once.
Yellow is the corn that seemingly holds all of Brooke’s shit together.
Yellow is the funky eye crusties my kids get that I have to pick out for them***.
Yellow is the color of my nightshirt after I wake up to discover a random child has crawled into my bed specifically to pee a gallon’s worth of stinky strong backed up urine onto my side of the bed.
So for you yellow may be all things daisies and sunshine and lemon flavored vodka, but for me, yellow is the color of evil…
Pure Evil…
*seriously, am I the only one with these pee stains? I have tried everything to get them off…freaking gross…
**I’d like to take this time to thank my four children for both ruining my bladder and making me incredibly unsexy while still in my 20′s….
***okay, I enjoy the crusties…
****this post is linked up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop-and I swear that one day I’ll figure out how to get that damn button on here
OK. You claim that one innocent pic that I posted made you want to puke? Seriously, vomiting in a bowl over here. Thanks for the cheerful morning read. (-:
BWAHAHA! I thoroughly enjoyed this post! BROWN is my least favorite color… and Bissel is the name of my secret lover (or so says my Husband.) Between a 2 year old, a 4 year old, a Black Lab with a binging problem and a cranky 14 year old cat…. SHIT HAPPENS.
Visiting from Mama Kats!
I've only had two kids and I have the same sneeze & pee problem. On a roadtrip, I make sure we stop every 2 hours… just in case.
AMEN!!!!!!
I too hate the god awful color yellow!!!!!
Thanks for the morning laugh
Hahahaha you're so funny.
(You have to cut + paste the code for the button into your post on the HTML viewing screen, change all the " you see and voila!)
You. Are. Awesome.
Your cursing and curmudgeonly opinion of yellow just got you a new follower.
ps: Corn=Nature's Laxative
Oh, how I empathize so very very much…sigh
Thanks a lot Holly, I now officially hate the color yellow too! lol
hmmm…i'm suddenly feeling very awkward! most of my house is painted buttercream yellow!
seriously though…i have had three kids, all naturally and have zero to emergency in 60 seconds bladder.
Hilarious and could not agree more! Thought I was the only one who had a kid crawl into bed and have them pee on them.
I love how you make me look at things in a totally different, and occasionally nauseating, way. =)
Ick! I've never been a fan of yellow, but now I like it even less.
OMG, I think this is the funniest thing I've read today!!! That is awesome, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone!
I used to like yellow, now maybe not so much…
I hate when I wake up and feel an uncomfortable coolness and dampness to my clothes. I say a silent prayer that I was just sweating and realize oh too quickly that no it is pee.
Totally sucks!
Dab some SoftScrub on the stain and let it sit…it will bleach out…or buy a new seat…OR, since it's totally gonna happen again, keep the old seat, ignore the stain…and who the heck is looking under there anyway????
Yellow in this context doesn't seem so cheery anymore
And now I don't like my yellow dress as much. LOL
Clearly, you don’t have a little dog.
What’s with that button?
no dogs for us, my hubs is deathly allergic…
do you dislike the button?
I was referring to your **** postscript. Not yours.
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