I know, you all totally gave up on my fat ass. And I can’t blame you. After my promise to eat better and really really lose the weight this time I didn’t. Instead I bonded with Ben and Jerry, I melded with Betty Crocker, and then all the weight I had lost came back.
But now, I’m happy to tell you, I’m really really going to do it! Oh yes! In fact, I joined a gym. Not only did I join, but I’ve been going five or six days a week. And I’m totally going to keep it up, I love it*, and not only because they have child care and I’m so happy to have a break**.
So why? Why now?
It’s my underwear. They are so freaking hideous and large and unsexy I can’t stand it.
I want to illustrate for this for you…
See? Ariel can use my underwear for a hammock. That’s a big fat ass.
But with my old super cute undies she can barely hang on.
It looks like my (not) new unsexy underwear can eat my skinny girl panties.
And for that I will change my body. I want my sexy underwear back.
And I learned I’m 37% body fat. Seriously. If my body were Disney World, then Animal Kingdom would be all blubber. That’s a whole lot of jiggle***.
But soon it will be gone. You can bet your sweet ass. *love may be a strong word, I kinda sorta like it, but I am excited to not have an ass that has its own zip code
**kinda only
*which I feel badly for the people behind me in Zumba, cuz this jiggle ain’t pretty to the beat of J.Lo
Alright, I'm officially inspired. You're effing hilarious… and motivational to boot!
I need a kick up the behind to lose the weight I gained back, after losing all the baby weight (darn it). You might just have provided it!
Good luck, you can do it!
I'm totally with you on the jiggle! I got my motivation when I was on the field trip to the zoo with my sons class….huffing and puffing was not fun.
I so want to join a gym. If for no other reason than the free babysitting. Good luck, mama!
I feel the same way about running,I don't love it (not even in a kinda sorta way), but find it totally necessary.
I totally think you have to go a lot at first just to establish the habit.
And now you are turning your kids into gymrats.
I can't believe you feel OK with putting this OUT THERE. I sure don't! I wish you all the luck in the world!
Oh my gosh – I love this! I just thought the same thing as I had to buy new underwear and a swimsuit that looks like a freaking tent!
Holly, this time you did it!! Thank you from all us fat-asses for showing what OUR underwear looks like!! Sorta wanted to keep that a secret between us and not give the skinny bitches more to talk about, So thanks Holly (lol),
I started walking with my husband, we're up to 2 miles a day, and then was forced to do Tai Chi ( granddaughters school had an auction, and I was on the committe,and at the auction I bid on the Tai Chi, hoping to get the bidding started and then no-one else bid, so…) anyway i've lost 32 lbs so far since April and ONLY have 40 more to go, SO I'M IN THIS WITH YOU GIRL! I WANT MY SEXY, IM A 51YR OLD GRANDMOTHER WHO CAN WEAR THONGS, UNDERWEAR BACK!! Love ya!
King Kong could use my undies for a hammock! You go girl!!!
This cracked me up!
Sexy underwear are cute but OMG I get so tired of pulling them out of my ass crack!
GOod luck anyway.
I have never looked at my underway that way but now that I do WOW! I too got back on the train last week. Enough is enough! I am starting to eat better, no more crap!! Good luck to us!!!!
Denice
Well, first of all, those are two completely different styles of underwear, so of course the granny panties are going to look gigantic next to a thong, lmao!… I do know what you mean though. I keep telling myself that I need to lose weight and get healthier, but I seem to forget those thoughts when food is in front of me. I'm sick of being fat and gross.
I was just thinking about how horrible my underwear where the other day. I think its time for me to hit the gym also, even though I HATE it.
Or maybe I will just get over the ugly undies.
Maybe…
You bitch! I spit yogurt on my computer screen when I saw your undies pic!!! LOL
I bet my undies could eat your new undies, and have your old sexy undies for dessert.
Nicely done
What's worse? Buying supposedly sexy big undies.
That is so funny. I need a gym membership myself. I gained 30 lbs after the baby due to the shot and don't know how to get rid of it since I never had a weight prob before. Now I feel hideous.
I am right there with you. There are so many times that I have pledged my weight loss on my blog and I have failed at it. Now I am doing it though. I am getting upset with my fat belly and I am done. You can do it Holly!
You have me cracking up! Love your post. I too am back on the weight loss train. Unfortunately a cabbage patch can use my undies as a hammock. lol
I really understand your struggle as I'm trying to lose weight too. It's so hard!
I love how you did this post as really almost everyone wants to lose weight so they can fit into those sexy things we want to wear.
Good luck on your weight loss!
Love ya! Good luck – My yoga place does not have child care…but, I seriously need to do it! I'll try to keep up with you – I think your Zumba will hip hop circles around my down-dog!
Bye bye, Bigmamacottoncrotch panties! Hellloooo thongers!
I love you!
Now go buy more thongs!