Family Dinners, or Gross Times?

I know how important family dinners are.  I get it.  The research all says that if you don’t eat together then your kids are at risk for becoming sociopaths and they’ll get bad grades and drop out of school.  Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration, but you all know what I’m saying, that if we don’t eat with our kids every night we’re doing irreversible damage…

But eating with the kids is highly unappetizing…and here’s why…

1. Mashed Potato Towers.  Hope is a master in this lost art…and watching her sculpt is thoroughly unappetizing…even with the peas added as embellishment…

2. Snorted Milk.  You know what I’m talking about, the milk out of the nose.  One kid makes a fart joke or says the magic word: poop, and that’s enough to send off gales of laughter causing the milk to come right out the nose….nice!

3. The Announcement.  We get the announcement during dinner every night from Jack. Don’t anyone eat my dinner, I have to go make a big poop!  Wow, that’s great.  And inevitably I have to smell his hands when he comes back to determine that he didn’t wash them and send him back.  Yum, pass the corn please.

4. Dogs.  No, we don’t have any, but I do have children that like to eat like animals.  I have to routinely remind them to eat like people, but when they pick up their faces from their plates and they’re covered in rice and the juices from the meat, that’s enough to kill my appetite.

5. The Spray.  You all know what I mean.  The food spray.  The disgusting chewed up food spray.  The laugh out loud looking straight at you food spray.  If I’m really lucky the food gets sprayed onto my face, but more often than not it ends up as a film covering my own meal.  Yum, it’s like a special seasoning, only it’s disgusting as hell…

But we’ll continue to eat with these little monsters anyway…

Besides, I can almost always eat with my eyes closed now anyway…

*today I’m guesting over at Julie’s place, 3 Moms in 1, so make sure you go check out yet another reason why I’m not that perfect mom…


  1. Yasmin @ a little less fluff says:

    I agree with you. My twins are two years old and judging by how they eat (and my sensitive stomach), there wont be any family table dinners for a bit! ;)

  2. amygrew says:

    It is definitely not a good time! But worth it if we don't have sociopaths.

  3. Holly Ann says:

    You're so awesome. I always eat with my kids (often much to my dismay) as well.

    By the way, if you're not feeling like the perfect mom today, just go read my most recent post. I'm certain it will make you feel pretty awesome about your parenting. lol

  4. mama marchand says:

    Maybe you SHOULDN'T pass the corn … that's prob making him poop. ;)

  5. Lacey says:

    Wow, I forgot about scary dinner times! My 3 older kids are too old for that. Jax, of course, doesn't eat, but miss Arina, I'm sure will soon learn how to throw food, and be messy, messy!

  6. The BabbyMama says:

    This is why I often simply sit with a glass of wine during dinner time.

  7. Jenny says:

    LOL, you just made me miss family dinners when I was a kid :D …I remember flinging peas around the room when my parents would leave…You know peas can stick to the roof?! Of course none of this is funny now that I'M the parent!!

  8. Semi-Slacker Mom says:

    My kids are going to be sociopaths. I've excepted it.

  9. says:


    On the plus side it might make it easier to lose weight if you keep losing your appetite ;)

  10. basilmomma: Heather Tallman says:

    Laughing at this as I can relate to all of this. Tonight I picked up my plate, went into the garage, got in my car, turned up Pearl Jam and ate out there. They didn't even look for me ;)

  11. Jill says:

    Yum, I'm hungry now….LOL hahaha!

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