Last week Eric and I did the right thing. We are adults, we know the difference between right and wrong. We know what the consequences are for our decisions, both good and bad. But doing the right thing really sucks sometimes…
Last Monday our house was scheduled to be in a foreclosure auction at 11 am. The clerk finished counting out our money at 10:51 am and took our house off the auction listing.
How did we get there you’re asking? It’s actually the most ridiculous story, of people on both sides stubbornly not doing the right thing…
Unfortunately it started with us…ugh.
We fell behind with our HOA’s. I know…totally our fault. Eric had some words with the HOA president, some nice, some not so nice, in regards to our lateness, and finally they both put differences aside and worked out a payment plan.
Hooray, right? Nope…
Mr. Douchebag HOA prez comes back telling us that the people in our community aren’t really comfortable with Brooke and would we mind signing something that says when she will and will not be at the pool. I am totally serious…and no, we’re not taking legal action…since we flipped out no contract was presented to us, so it’s our word against his…
So we decide at that point to screw our community over. We weren’t going to pay the fees we owed and let them foreclose on us. We were totally going to give them the middle finger, because after they foreclosed on us and had our home, our HOA would be another 60 grand in the hole..(is the real estate talk making you dizzy yet? I know, blech). They would be responsible for what we owed, plus what we were upside down in our mortgage…so we were thinking SO THERE!!!
Guess what…it didn’t feel good. We knew we weren’t doing the right thing, but we were so damn mad…and honestly? How could we live in a community where people may be hateful to Brooke? But we can’t sell our home now, it’s appraised at less than what we paid…being an adult sometimes really sucks…
Not knowing what we were going to do, we stopped paying our mortgage too…if the HOA was going to foreclose on us, they why continue paying the bank? Ugh. This went on for a few months, with us planning to just rent another house for a year and buy again while we were renting…(lucky for us this house is in my name, so even if I was foreclosed on we can buy a house in Eric’s name)
There were no rental houses we liked…and now looking back I don’t know if that’s really true, or if we just knew deep down we weren’t making the right decision…
It was the Friday before the auction date we decided to stay here and pay the money…so on Monday after I raced to drop the boys off, I picked up Eric, where we drove in a frenzy to the bank to get more cash than I’ve ever seen in my life and race to the courthouse in time to stop our home from being auctioned off to the highest bidder. Can you say stress? And to top off the stress level the HOA’s lawyer wouldn’t tell us the proper amount-we had called to tell him we wanted to pay it and he still wouldn’t tell us-in fact, he was there at the courthouse to buy our home…rat bastard…so we kind of had to do some crazy ass math to figure it out…
So we did it…we paid our HOA back fees with nine minutes to spare, and we also had to pay to get our mortgage reinstated plus their lawyer fees since they started foreclosure action also-which we did the next day…
But we know we did the right thing. Are we still totally happy with our decision? No. We still don’t want to be here…so we’ll probably rent this place out and buy a new home anyway…
But we did the right thing. And I’m proud of us.
Being a grownup sucks
Wow! That is a ton of stress! How could anyone feel uncomfortable around a child?!
Jerks! Being a grownup does suck.
It's almost a cliche but I think it's so true: sometimes the right thing feels wrong. It's great that you followed your gut along the way. Great honest post!
Wow, they suck. I hate HOA's I'm sorry you are having so much trouble. I hope things get better soon
What a stressful ordeal. Now I'm glad we bought our home without an HOA. Although not so glad about the neighbors with a clothesline in the front yard…
WOW! That is all I can say. The part that sticks with me the most is the ignorance of your community, and not wanting Brook at the pool.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Stopping by from PYHO. Being a grown up sucks sometimes for sure. I can't believe your community is treating you like that! I would want to move too. We don't have an HOA in our neighborhood, but my in-laws do. They got fined once because they live across the street from the pool and directed people to park in the pool parking lot once when they had a party in DECEMBER (we live in Ohio, no one was using the pool and there is not clubhouse by the pool so the lot was empty). But the people who never cut their grass…nothing. Seriously, what is wrong with them?
Uggg…I think I would have reacted in the exact same way if that was to happen to us about Russell. And being a grownup does suck! What I wouldnt give to be 17 again!
I can't believe anyone would suggest that your daughter was making people uncomfortable. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a mess!
Oh, my. I can't even imagine hearing that about my child. I'd want revenge, too.
Good for you for being the bigger person.
Well, refusing to pay your house payments is better than murdering those hateful people on the HOA, which I would probably have done…prison vs foreclosure. Clearly you made the better choice. (-: Sorry you had to deal with this at all.
So, they're uncomfortable being around a human? A child? Because that's what she is. She isn't Down syndrome. Please. That is so ignorant.
Good for you for being the better people in this situation.
As a mommy, I think it would have been really hard to not go egg everyone else's home in the area. I guess that wouldn't be very "grown up" either.. Seriously though, where do all of these ignorant people come from?? I believe in Karma, hopefully you do to!
Congrats on being a grown up, you did the right thing!
Hats off to you for doing the right thing. Now go sit by that pool all freaking day long! Show your 'community' (i don't even want to call them community because in most communities they care, love and support) but show them that each and every individual matters and has a right. Brooke is a beautiful little girl with a unique gift. Ignorant ignorant people. Hopefully you can continue to show these people the right thing.
It sucks to be the adult sometimes, and that's absolutely one of those times. At least you know you did the right thing, even if it was stupid. It might make you feel better if you threw a bag of flaming poo on each of the neighbors doors? Hmmm, just saying
THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR BABY? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I applaud you for your grace under fire. I might have used a good deal more "grown up words".
Wow! I couldn't get outta there fast enough if someone said something like that about my child. Ignorance…pure and simple. Ughhhh!
I have a daughter with down syndrome – she just turned 22 (augh!! ) She's our oldest, we also have 4 boys. So am I reading this right: your HOA doesn't want your daughter at the pool "because she makes people there uncomfortable"???!!! Are they from the 1800's or something? IMO you should contact an advocacy group (ARC, National Down Syn. Ass.) and a lawyer and sue their bigoted, narrow minded pants off! Going to the local press would also be a good idea. This is an unbelievable situation to be in in today's "modern" society. It makes me so angry – I would never have been able to act like a grownup!
Where do you live? I'll catch the next flight out and help you picket!!!
Blessings,
Lisa
Ugh. Being a grown up sucks even more when your neighbors are ignorant
I'm still so flaming mad about how they treated Brooke from when you tweeted about it before. I still think you should sue the pants off of them! There has to be SOMETHING you can do, mama. Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.
Are you.FREAKING.KIDDING.ME?????
How could anyone say that about Brooke? That's so offensive! I can't even stomach that. I couldn't live there, either.
I am just so sorry. This is totally unfair and you absolutely did the right thing, but it still won't let you live in peace, which is totally unfair.
Holy smokes, talk about stress! You have a big heart though, I would have left those fuckers high and dry. After what they said about Brooke, I'd have no remorse! Good job on doing the right thing though, you're a big person. =]
The whole thing about Brooke just really upsets me. You are better than I am about not going to a lawyer or something. I do understand though that it would be your word against his.
Anyways, we were in a similar mortgage situation a few months ago. We were also able to get out of it but seeing that foreclosure notice from the courthouse just broke my heart in two. I am thankful that you were able to get out of it as well.
I would contact the local media – that is just wrong!
Go you! I'm still ticked about the Brooke and the pool thing, but you know that already. BOO to people. Especially the guy there to buy the house. People are just icky. Very icky. But you did good
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Holy Cow!! Are you kidding me????? Who are these people and where can I find them!!!
I know you did the right thing (I can't even imagine that amount of stress you and your husband have been under) but still it just sucks!
Wow. I am so sorry that your HOA would make a comment like that even if you were behind on payments. That is infuriating. I'm glad you feel good about your final decision though and I'm even more happy that you had enough money to cover it. We had to walk away from our mortgage 2 years ago due to financial strain. We're renting now and still struggling financially. Now they want to cut teacher's salaries in my district by 8%.
HI ,
I say bring a whole playgroup of Down's people and other minorities and have a great big pool party. You'll get to EDUCATE these
people. Kill em with Kindness!!!! Have support group meetings of Down's in your area .
Ugh, that is so upsetting to me! I just feel so angry for you, for Brooke, for everyone who has to deal with shitty people like your HOA guy. Hope he and all your neighbors get exactly what they deserve one day.
And good luck with renting and finding a new place.
WOW! What a hot mess. I'm stunned at what started this whole thing… ignorance like that pisses me off! Good for you guys for doing the right thing, even if it did totally suck!
I am new around here and OMG what a bunch of a$$holes. I am sorry you just do NOT say something like that about a person's child!!
I agree with Lisa I say you contact someone about this and definitely call the media, tell your story tell what you did and how you decided at last minute to change your mind and be the bigger person in the situation. While it may make renting your place a little harder but they will be the ones looking like a bunch of prejudice jerks!
while sometimes I hate my neighbors for their lack of cutting their grass or their other BS. I am still glad we don't have a HOA I just couldn't stand the thought of someone telling me how to handle my house and what I can and can't do with it! or even worse that I can only take my daughter to the pool when it is convenient for others!
That is ridiculus! I can't believe that someone would say that to you about your child! I would have never let them get away with it! I am glad you still have your home but I know that I would be looking for a new place to live ASAP! I am sorry you had to go through such horrible things but in the end you will come out a stronger and better person!! Keep up the good work!
Holy shit. I can't believe that guy said that to you. Can I have his address so I can send him hate mail or maybe drive there and kick his ass?
YOu did the right thing, but there has to be some way to still stick it to your HOA. Especially after they had the audacity of asking you to sign that form about Brooke. Sorry you had to go through that, it pretty much sucks either way.
Wow, I can't believe they said that to you about your daughter… I can't imagine the anger you felt! And talk about stress over the house situation. I'm sorry you guys are dealing with all that and I hope things work out for the best for you and your family.
I left you an award at my blog.
Good for you for coming back from the brink! That must've been hard on a lot of levels.
I keep hearing HOA horror stories though…quite scary indeed!
Being a grownup does suck…and Shame on HIM!! You definitely took the high road, better than I would have. I would have been with the egg-thrower, poo-flamer, toilet-papering people!! Just remember that Karma is a bitch, and in the end he will get what is coming to him!!
Hope you find a house soon!!!
I'm still so mad at your HOA. And being a grown up SO sucks. =(
I'm all about being a grown-up, doing the right thing, holding my head high. But for you to be able to do all of that in the face of such insanity? You have my admiration tonight.